I am curious by nature and when I was pregnant I would daydream and wonder what my child would be like. Not just what they would look like but what their personality and temperament would be like. I read every book I could get my hands. I read traditional baby books, new thought and spiritual books and cutting edge philosophical and psychology books. Some psychologists theorized that babies come in with a clean slate and that the way they turned out was 100% learned behavior. The spiritual books suggested babies were high strung because of the mother’s stress during pregnancy and went on to say to not be nervous or worried because it will affect the baby’s perceptions and beliefs. The new thought books offered possible temperaments that had to do with when they were born and the name they were given. I learned all these theories from books but what I experienced and realized was completely different.
It wasn’t until I had my second child that I realized how I could tell what kind of personality they were going to have. Even if we are not into new thought or spirituality, we have to acknowledge the shift that is taking place on this planet. People are becoming more aware of their thoughts and emotions and how it is affecting their lives. We are also becoming more conscious of what we are putting into our bodies and how we can help bring the planet back to a harmonious state. Keeping this in mind, more and more people are beginning to listen to their intuition, you know that “Still small voice” within each and every one of us. I have realized that every person has their own truth and when we take the time to listen to it, we find our own answers that work for us and we don’t need to adopt someone else’s for lack of confidence or inner knowing.
We cannot be something we are not. We can try but in the end it doesn’t really work. If we are nervous about being a fist time mother, that is perfectly ok. We can’t change how we feel about things. What we can do is choose how we are going to deal with the anxiety. We can talk about it, journal about it, or even pray about it but it is really hard to pretend you are not nervous when you truly are. When we try to ignore something it gets pushed down and stored in our bodies and creates physical symptoms. We can only guess how it may affect a baby. It can affect the baby but I don’t agree that it will define their personality. Remember, we can’t always control what happens to us in life but we do have control over how we deal with it.
I have been sensitive and emotional all my life. I feel everything to a very deep level and I can sense things other people may not be aware of. I was very observant about my emotions and temperament while growing up and while I was pregnant. I had the feelings of fear and anxiety about being a parent but they were amplified quite a bit. I was extremely sensitive to everything and many times questioned my ability to do things right. This didn’t make sense to me why I was feeling this way. I had always been ambitious and if I felt fear I would deal with it and move on. Being a parent seemed completely overwhelming to me. I felt like everything I was feeling was being blown out of proportion. I heard many people say, “Oh, that’s just your hormones.” I really felt it was something more than that.
A couple years later I was pregnant with our second daughter and I had a completely different experience. I was happy, almost giddy all the time and absolutely loved life. I also at times had an explosive temper. Now I am an optimistic person and have my fair share of experiencing my anger but not to the extent of either mood when I was pregnant. How could this be chalked up to hormones also? It doesn’t make sense to me that hormones could give me so many different emotions and at such an intense level. How could it match up to the temperament of my daughters? My first born is very apprehensive about learning new things. Almost to the point where it paralyses her from moving forward. She is very cautious about life and will not do something until she is absolutely ready. My second one is like a little fairy. She loves life, takes as much of the day in as she can with great enthusiasm and yet has a temper that would frighten even the most seasoned parents.
So, I started to contemplate this idea and came up with an alternative metaphysical theory that made more sense to me. We are all individual souls that choose to come down here to earth for our own personal growth. We each have our own individual personalities and temperaments even before we come into a physical form. Although we are each our own person we are all connected on a spiritual level. When women are pregnant and carrying their child, their souls have connected and more than a bond is being shared. Feelings, emotions, perceptions and beliefs are exchanged and experienced between the two. It is almost as if the two souls have merged into one and they are experiencing each others emotions.
Often times we wonder what our children will be like when they arrive, it’s like knowing our baby’s temperament before they are born. One of the most reliable and intuitive ways I know is to pay attention to how you are feeling when you are pregnant. Pay attention to how you go about doing things and what you think about certain situations. Does it match up to how you were before you got pregnant or is it something completely out of the ordinary? Keep in mind the opportunity a mother has to provide a loving and healthy environment for the baby too. Do the best you can, allow yourself to feel any feelings that may come up and take time for you and your baby to connect on a soul level. Spend some quiet time just listening to the quiet, talk to your baby as you caress your womb, and know that you are the perfect mother for your precious little one.
Dr. Lara Romero earned her BA in Human Services from CSUF and later went on to attain her PH.D in Metaphysics from AIHT (American Institute of Holistic Theology). She has been studying energy work for over a decade and a half and has helped many people make life-changing breakthroughs. She is able to help reprogram no longer needed thoughts into attitudes that enhance life fulfillment, clarity, prosperity and purpose. She has worked with children from preschool up to high school levels in academics and counseling. Her teaching background has helped her fine tune her coaching skills and is able to explain difficult concepts so that they are easily understood. Dr. Lara leads workshops with her husband and is dedicated to empowering children and their families to live meaning and joyful lives.
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