Well, would you look at that? I went from this to this in one cycle flat.
The picture doesn’t do justice with the size of a belly I feel like I’m carrying around at 15 weeks considering that belly button of mine poked out at just 6 weeks. In fact, Chad pointed it out one night while I was lifting weights in the basement…he said, “is it possible you’re already showing?” There was no denying something else was taking up space in there.
I thought I’d share with you a bit of the Baby Growing Project version 3.0.
To answer the question, How are you feeling?
I am feeling great minus those slight discomforts of pregnancy. Have yet to vomit, thanks to top o’ the line blood sugar management, though have moments when that tummy of mine is a bit topsy turvy.
I would pee myself even before I was pregnant whether doing core conditioning training, jumping on the rebounder or a trampoline with the girls or at times while out for a jog — so much for being a Bradley instructor and doing kegels for the past 12 years.
One of two times I vomited in my pregnancy with Annie was while eating scrambled eggs one morning — I had to excuse myself to puke, then sat back down to finish my eggs.
How do I take care of myself?
I follow the Brewer Pregnancy Diet, eat every few hours, consume lots of healthy fats, drink my fair share of water, and exercise (yoga, hiking, walking, free weights). My care team for pregnancy is no different than before (Chiropractor, Acupuncturist, Nutrition Response Testing Practitioner, Homeopath), all of whom I have seen for various reasons inside this new state I’m in, though it now includes our Birth Doula and Midwife.
The new biggest moment to report is I take time to sit or rest or nap, something I rarely did while pregnant with my girls. In fact, it was this new habit that had our 11 year old, Sunny, call me on being pregnant. Having watched me closely through our experience with losing Winter, she said, “I’ll know when you’re pregnant again mama, because you’ll yell at us and take naps.”
I will admit to a small amount of yelling and have definitely enjoyed my share of naps.
I also spend time at the beginning and end of each day turning inward. What this looks like is laying in bed placing my hands on my belly and breathing and patting and rubbing and imagining what life will be like when this bun is fully roasted and ready for birth. It’s time for me to connect to this new little being.
Chad keeps telling me I’m going to rub my belly right off. I’m still in disbelief that there’s a human growing in there. Even with every little movement I feel, now about 4 times during the week I feel the flutter–it catches me by surprise. My favorite moments are at night and right away in the morning during my connecting time. My belly gets this tight little lump right where the baby is—all lopsided and hard, we can fit the palm of our hands around it and for me, I can palpate the little body. Of course I can’t tell what I’m feeling, but I do know I’m not feeling my bowels, I’m not feeling my abdomen, I am feeling the physicality of the human life inside me.
There are days when I feel uncertain in my body and its changes. I’ve had to give myself more grace with exercise than I did when pregnant with my girls, as suggested by my care team with my losses this past year. In many ways I know what it’s like to feel and be pregnant, and in others, it’s been 7 years since I’ve carried a baby to 15 weeks. The girls (or the “aunties” as Anne Lamott refers to them) are full and achy every time I stand up from sleeping on one side for too long, leaving me with the sense of carrying sand bags on my chest. And I can’t tell if this new fullness in my face is baby weight or from eating fruit now almost daily when I hadn’t eaten it for 8 months. The huff and puff that comes with hiking up hills (or carrying the laundry basket) is a reminder that it’s ok for me to take things slowly.
Feeling firm areas getting soft after a few months reminds me of my commitment to keep this baby inside.
The defining moments in my running for Mother of the Year
In the face of Doing it all Right, Having the Perfect Pregnancy, and Planning the Perfect Life, there are a few glowing moments I felt I should share.
Whether the past moments on my record leap make it to my new resume has yet to be determined:
There was a time or two when I hit Sunny’s baby noggin on the car doorframe while gently attempting to lift (read: wrangle) her into her car seat.
There was also a time or two when I hit Annie’s baby noggin on the car doorframe while gently attempting to lift her into her car seat.
That moment when I heard Sunny at the age of 3 from the backseat (after we’d been on the freeway for 20 minutes) ask me if I was going to buckle her seatbelt.
That time when Sunny was 6 weeks old and I was on my way home from a solo week up north visiting Oma. Long story short, she screamed for a half hour straight on a 32 mile stretch of construction with no shoulder. By the time I pulled over, the front of my shirt was completely wet and I removed her blanket to see she was up to her armpits in yellow breast milk poop, both inside and outside her clothing. It was at this defining moment that I realized we were in a sandstorm, we were covered in poop and breast milk, and I had to pee. So I did, in the backseat, having dropped trow and let ‘er rip into a gallon sized ziploc meant for wet cloth diapers.
The above situation turned out so well, I used a ziploc for the same reason not long after.
I’m all about convenience.
Dinner was sometimes boiled eggs and popcorn (with nutritional yeast, if you’re lucky).
I suppose I should add the the time when g*# damn it was added to Sunny’s vocabulary at the mere age of 3 or 4 (she did use it in context so let’s not count that as a point against me, k?)
Not sure what was up with my bowels but I realize I’ve shared more than you’re interested in, though since I’m on a roll — there was a time when I pooped myself in my sleep while pregnant with Sunny. I was embarrassed and mad and self conscious and glad Chad had fallen asleep in front of the TV that night.
And then while pregnant with Annie I peed myself in my sleep about four years later. I’m going to rationalize all of this bladder/bowel stuff by saying I guess that’s what happens when you’re carrying 40 pounds of life sustaining equipment around on top of your intestines.
As you can see, my running for Mother of the Year is built upon a strong foundation.
Some defining moments in this pregnancy include just yesterday when my grandpa hugged me. Typically I would never turn away his chiropractic-adjustment-like hugs, though this one made me feel like my boobs were going to pop, or, I was going to poop, one of the two.
I chose not to share that with him.
And then there was the day I was so tired from a night of insomnia that I peed on my bathrobe sash and only after I had washed my hands did I realize it was urine and it hadn’t fallen into the sink.
To top if off, I had a cold last week that had me change my underwear three times in one day. Once because I peed while laughing, the next time because I peed while coughing, and then the third (because it’s a charm, right?) because I peed while sneezing.
All in all, it was a good day.
For now I revel in my moments of photographic glory, or those times when I can get a photo of my kids where they don’t look drunk and are actually entertaining my requests. These two big girls are more than excited to greet their new sibling this summer, and so are we.
Welcome to the ride.